Starr Gone Read online

  “Yes, as a matter of fact they do, but I’m not giving you any bullshit. You are beautiful and sexy. You should look in the mirror,” he says with a look like he means every word, or he’s high as a kite. With his crazy talk, I’ve no doubt he’s flying right now.

  I jump away from him. “God no. I’d be in the bed next to you. It’s been days since I showered. You’re just doped up.”

  He shrugs his shoulders. “Think what you want, but you’re sexy. I’m talking seriously hot. If you leave me all by myself, what am I going to do all day?”

  “You’re going to sleep like the doctor told you to. If you improve enough in the next twenty-four hours, you’ll get to leave two days ahead of schedule. Leave it to you to get shot in the abdomen without hitting any vital organs. Goddamn luckiest guy I know.” I swat at his arm. We all decided that if we kept a close eye on Jude, we could stay at headquarters a few more days—long enough to give Frank some time to recover before we return to the Qualla Boundary.

  “I will promise to rest, if you promise me that I’ll have your undivided attention when we get back to headquarters.”

  “Frank, you won’t need me to take care of you.” Inside, a part of me shrivels up and dies. I like being here with him when his sole focus is me. As soon as Starr’s around, he’ll forget all about me.

  He crosses his arms. “Promise or I’m not leaving.”

  I roll my eyes. “Ben and I will come get you tomorrow.” I glance up at the clock. “I gotta go. Ben will be waiting for me.”

  “Fine,” he snaps, “but I need a goodbye kiss.”

  “You’re really full of yourself, aren’t you?” I bend down and give him a quick peck on the cheek. Any more and I’ll feel things I shouldn’t feel. Things I can’t feel. But I won’t say “no” to his one small request. I mean he was shot and all.

  I duck out of Frank’s room and keep my head down. The elevator is twenty feet away and if destiny works in my favor, I will step into the elevator and slip out of the hospital without a cop trailing me. I’ve been through three rounds of questioning, and I keep giving them the same answer. “I’m sorry but I don’t know why the young ladies were unconscious when you got there. I walked into the room moments before the ambulance arrived.” I also dropped more hints than a Sunday collection plate that OneChurch was responsible for Frank’s shooting, but the officers weren’t buying it. Stubborn bastards.

  My parents covered for me. Told the cops I was down south for spring break. I owe them a bottle of Grey Goose when I get home. Frank’s mom covered for him too, but it’s only a matter of time before the authorities connect the dots and figure out we’re down here with Christian. Starr’s identity is secure—at least for the moment anyway. For all official governmental purposes, she’s dead and buried.

  A white van rolls to a stop in front of the bench. The window creaks down slowly. “Hey there stranger, want a ride?”

  “I don’t typically accept rides from strange men, but I’ll make an exception for a Cherokee, as long as Coda’s not riding shotgun.”

  Ben laughs low and deep. He makes you want to smile just to because you can. “He stayed back to help keep an eye on everyone.”

  I hop into the passenger seat. “Any excitement over the past few days?”

  “Well, from what we can gather, Jude professed his undying love and dedication to Starr this morning and let’s just say, Christian overheard and he’s not too happy about it.”

  “Shit, sorry I missed that.”

  “Frank coming home tomorrow?”

  “That’s the plan. Do you think headquarters is safe or should we just ditch the half-wit and return to the Qualla Boundary?”

  “Coda would never let us leave him,” he laughs. “I’d like to stay in Asheville for a few more days in case Frank needs any immediate assistance. Asheville General ranks in the top ten in the country for wound care.”

  Ben hits the garage door remote. As we wait for the door to open, he turns to me, “And a warning to you, be ready to reveal every bit of medical information about Frank’s condition to Starr including every meal, bowel movement, and doctor visit. She’s getting a bit stir crazy.”

  “I’d say that’s a gross understatement.” I nod my head at the windshield. Starr’s pacing back and forth in the garage.

  She runs to the side of the van and opens it for me. “How’s Frank? Is he okay? When can he come home? How long’s his recovery?”

  I wink at Ben. “He’s improving, but he’s completely delusional. They must have him doped up on some major drugs.”

  She follows me up the stairs. “Why do you say that?”

  “He told me I was sexy.”

  “Di,” she says, “you are sexy.”

  “You’re on crack.”

  She raises an eyebrow—that “I’ll show you who’s right” look. “Am I? Christian and Coda come here.”

  Christian slings his arm around her waist. Coda leans against the doorway. “Whassup?”

  “Frank told Di that she’s sexy, and she doesn’t believe him.”

  Christian studies me from top to bottom. I adjust my pentagram necklace as if I can ward off his undivided clinical attention. “He’s right. You are sexy.”

  “If I liked misdirected, violent girls, I’d be all over you,” Coda teases.

  “Alright, that’s it. Everyone in the van. You’re all suffering from PTSD.”

  “Di, have you looked in the mirror lately?” Starr asks.

  “I haven’t showered for days. I’m a walking disaster.” What was going on with everyone? I’m not the girl people call sexy. I’m the girl who paints her face white and dyes her hair black, and while I strived to achieve the sexy night-vixen look, I never achieved it. And now, now, I am a brain-eating zombie. I don’t know what sick inside joke they’re getting at, but they better knock it the fuck off.

  “Come with me,” she says and leads me to the bathroom mirror. “Look.”

  I keep my head down. “No fucking way.”

  She squeezes my shoulders. “Look.”

  “You’re a stubborn pain in the ass you know that?” I snap at her. I take a deep breath and lift my head. I don’t recognize the girl in the mirror. She isn’t me. This girl has a pink tone to her skin that makes her glow. Instead of hair spiked in harsh angles, locks fall gently around her face in a cute pixie cut. I’m still wearing the corset and leather mini from the party the other night. I dressed to look sexy, but I didn’t think I pulled it off.

  I stare at my reflection for a ridiculously long time. I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen my real face. That base layer of white foundation I add before I even step in front of the mirror protects me from the rounded, pudgy-faced Diane from junior high. As I stare at myself, I realize I even have cheekbones. With only a residual trace of mascara and eyeliner, my eyes remind me of a turquoise pendant instead of a wannabe vampire.

  “See,” she whispers. “You had no idea you were gorgeous, did you?”

  The lump in my throat makes it impossible to talk. She smiles at me. “You have always been this beautiful.”

  I need to interrupt this line of thought. “Starr, I did not always look like this.”

  “Well, not exactly like this,” she says, indicating the bulging corset, “but like this.” She frames my face as if I am a portrait. “You just didn’t believe in yourself. All you needed was confidence.”

  I stare at her smile for a good long time. Her eyes shine with pride. I blink back tears that threaten to burst. “I’m sorry.”

  “What are you sorry for?”

  “I’m sorry I blamed you.”

  “Blamed me for what?”

  “For getting all the attention. I felt like I was your shadow, and then one day, I got tired of it and went all Goth.”

  She drops to the floor and wraps her hands around her knees. “You did that because of me? Why didn’t you say anything? I....” Her breath catches. “I never meant to hurt you.”

  I fold up next to h
er. “I know. You’ve always been so confident, so sure of yourself. That’s what people love about you. I hid in the corner and couldn’t figure out why people treated us different. I didn’t know it was because of the way I acted.”

  “I wish I had known,” she says. “It seems like everyone I thought was my friend really hated me. I lived a lie.”

  I wrap my arm around her. “Starr, I didn’t hate you. I just needed to go my own way for a while. I needed to figure out who I was. Everyone at school loves you.”

  She grunts. “Not Sami and Jody.”

  “Those girls are bitches. I never liked them.”

  A smirk appears. “Bitches huh? Wonder how they felt when they woke up?”

  “One hell of a hangover. The cops took them away. They should still be sitting in a jail cell.”

  “Jude says Sami demonstrates psychopathic tendencies. There’s some official DSM classification, but—”

  “Psychopath sounds about right.”

  “Di, she was going to shoot me. She wanted to kill me. I don’t know what I did to hurt her that much.”

  “Well, if it’s any consolation, I never wanted to shoot you. Maybe shove you in the pool, but never shoot you.”

  She giggles as she wipes away her tears. “Well, that makes me feel better.”

  “I’ll Taser you if it makes you feel better.”

  She laughs harder. “I think I’ll pass. Get cleaned up and we’ll order pizza. Jude’s been talking about some great pizza place that tastes like New York pizza.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “I know,” she replies. “I question it too.”

  I reach over and hug her. “Starr, thank you for your friendship.”

  They can take my goddamn license away and my Gorilla glue too. I don’t need them anymore.

  Chapter Nine

  Starr

  Sometime after Jude’s confession of love to me and Di’s arrival home from the hospital, Christian and Jude find a quasi-peaceful existence. I can’t figure out if it came from male bonding during last night’s baseball game or a freaky alternate space we somehow plunged into or if Frank’s shooting really did bring as all together as a team. Whatever the cause, I’m not sure I like it.

  I mean I know I wanted everyone to get along, but I didn’t think it would actually happen. Jude said he loved me and Christian’s “fine” with it? I don’t like it. Not one bit.

  “Hi,” Di says shyly. Her wet hair frames her face in an adorable pixie cut I wish I had the face for. A dash of eyeliner and a light coat of mascara make her turquoise eyes striking, especially with the blue shirt I left on the bed when she was in the shower. I smile at her, feeling all warm and fuzzy and proud.

  Christian, Coda, and Ben clap. Jude’s mouth drops when he sees her. Then he claps too. She blushes. The pink glow only makes her more attractive. “Alright, enough of that shit,” she says with a spring in her step. She winks at me and mouths, “Thank you.”

  Jude jumps up. “I’m starving. Di, did Starr tell you I found an authentic New York pizza place?”

  “I still question that claim,” she says.

  “Seriously the pizza is awesome. Any topping preference?”

  “Mushrooms and peppers.”

  “Perfect. Starr, any favorites?”

  “No, mushroom and peppers sound good. I don’t eat meat.”

  “Neither do I,” Di says.

  “Okay, one with no meat. Guys, what do you want?”

  “Pepperoni,” Christian, Coda, and Ben say with one mind and a singular focus. “Oh wait, forget Coda and me. We have to leave for work.”

  Coda moans. “But I was looking forward to New York pizza.”

  “I’ll buy you cafeteria pizza for a late night snack. Di, I’ll meet you and Frank at the hospital tomorrow around eleven. It’ll probably take a while to discharge him.”

  While we say our goodbyes to Coda and Ben, Jude borrows Christian’s phone to order the pizza. “Great, thanks,” I hear him say. “It’ll be ready in about a half an hour. It takes about fifteen to get there. Hey Christian, want to go for a ride to pick it up?”

  Christian pushes up from the floor. “Sure.”

  At the sound of his voice, my heart races. “I don’t think you should go.”

  “Starr, it’s just pizza.”

  I reach for his hands and pull him down next to me. “Forget the pizza.”

  He leans in and whispers, “Starr, it’s just pizza and besides, we don’t want to leave Jude alone and I’m not sending Di in my place.”

  I glance over at Di.

  No, she’s been through too much. Much too much. My stomach twists in knots. “I’ll make it up to you later,” he promises.

  “Please don’t go,” I whisper and throw my arms around him. I find his lips with a wild desire never to let him go. I know it’s silly. He’s just going for pizza, but the way my life’s been rolling lately, I’m not taking any chances.

  “Come on,” Jude says with a laugh in his voice. Dissimilar from his usual annoyed reaction. It only makes me more nervous. “Pizza awaits.”

  Christian struggles to pull away, but I don’t want to let him go. Not yet. “I love you,” I blurt out.

  He smiles at me. “I love you too. I’ll be right back.”

  Tears well up in my eyes as I watch his disappearing back.

  “Starr, are you alright?” Di asks.

  “Yeah, I guess. No, not really. I’m feeling a little paranoid.”

  “Let’s watch a show—something mushy and icky the guys would never want to watch, and no news,” she warns pointing the remote in my direction.

  “No news,” I concede.

  Before Di can change the channel, a newsflash comes up. “We’d like to interrupt your regularly scheduled viewing for a brief announcement:

  Christian Evergood of Webster, New York, formerly of Raleigh, North Carolina has been missing for several weeks following the disappearance of Starr Bishop, Jody Miller, and Samantha Livenwell. The girls’ car careened off a bridge into Lake Superior. Authorities have reason to believe Mr. Evergood is responsible for the accident. He is considered armed and dangerous. He may be accompanied by Diane Rourke, also of Webster, New York. The two were last seen in the southwestern part of Virginia. Any information on their whereabouts, please contact local authorities immediately.

  While the reporter was breaking this revelation, pictures of Christian and Di appear on the bottom of the screen. The news station must have pulled the pictures from our yearbook. The pale, black eye-lined Goth who looks like he wants to drain you for dessert doesn’t resemble the Christian I’ve come to know and love. Di’s picture on the other hand looks exactly like Di from three days ago, but now, no one would even guess it’s the same person. The veil of makeup disappeared with the spiked tendrils.

  “Remember, Christian and Di are believed to be armed and dangerous.”

  The news station pulls up the stock photo that our parents used when we originally went missing the day of the test. Sami, Jody, and I were laughing about the wonders of life with our arms linked around each other as if we were the best of friends. I always thought we were. Now, I know it’s a lie. The evil loathing of the other night will be forever etched into my brain. And Jody’s failure to act out against Sami to save my life, perhaps the greatest blow of all.

  If you have any information on their whereabouts, please contact local authorities immediately. We will now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

  Di and I stare at the TV. Neither one of us willing to put into words what the other is thinking. Present day Di and Christian in no way resemble their yearbook pictures in the least, but it’s only a matter of time before the authorities find old pictures of Christian tucked away in his old high school’s basement or from Di’s grandmother’s house.

  Di checks the time on the TV. “Shouldn’t they be back by now?”

  I take out the phone. “I’m calling.” She doesn’t try to stop me or tell me to wait or assure me that the
guys are fine. She knows that a few extra minutes could be the difference between life and death when it comes to the Organization.

  Christian’s phone rings. No answer. I call again. Still no answer. Leave a voice mail. Call again. Send a text. No reply. With each passing minute, my panic increases tenfold. My phone springs to life. I grab it without checking caller ID. “Christian, are you alright?”

  “Starr, it’s me.”

  “Frank, did you see the broadcast?”

  “Yeah, it doesn’t look good. Starr, the police questioned Di—without her makeup and hair glue. It’s only a matter of time before they create a range of potential appearances. Di and Christian need to go deep cover.”

  At the mention of Christian’s name, tears spring to my eyes. I choke back a sob. “Starr,” he says, “what’s wrong?”

  “Christian and Jude went out for pizza and they aren’t back yet and they aren’t answering their phones.”

  There’s a long pause. Di shoves her face into mine. “What should we do? Should we head to our backup location? Should we go look for them?”

  “No,” he shouts, “stay where you are. I’ll get ahold of Ben and Coda. Di, you’ve got your Taser right?”

  “Do you even have to ask?”

  “Don’t be afraid to use it. Use the fire escape if you need to. Oh, and Di?”

  Di glances over at me, unable to hide her surprise. “Yeah?”

  “I miss you. I better see you tomorrow even if it’s in handcuffs. Actually,” he says, “especially if you’re in handcuffs. I’ve always found them very sexy.”

  She snorts. “In your dreams buddy.” The blush creeping into her cheeks makes me smile. Assassins, the police, nothing can stop love. Nothing.

  I plug in my phone to charge it, all the while repeatedly dialing Christian’s number. I’d call Jude, but he doesn’t have a phone—it seemed like a good idea at the time. We didn’t want him to have more contact with the outside world than was necessary. Di even searched all his bags when he was in the shower to make sure he didn’t bring one with him, but now, in hindsight, the more contact we have with our team members, the better.